I am a parent to a teenage daughter. [Insert appropriate level of panic here.]

Personally, I don't think most people really know what they are doing when it comes to parenting. I always felt like there would be a magical day when I felt grown up and like I knew all of the secrets of the world. Suffice it to say that it hasn't happened. Regardless, I have a child, and she's growing up, so I've continued to make things up as I've gone along, and it's been going pretty well. So far, she's a likable, considerate person who gets decent grades, has a lot of interests, and has friends whose parents I don't hate. As an extra added bonus, she gets along with me as a mom and a tolerable adult figure. I consider that a win.

With that less than stellar resume of my parental qualifications, here are my top 3 pieces of unsolicitied life advice for my teenage daughter. Who knows. Maybe your child, or any random adult for that matter, will learn a little something.

There are some basic life things that we all have to do--but there's a whole lot that we actually don't have to do, but that we do out of obligation. Let me rephrase. You do not  have to do everything people ask or tell you to do, like or try. ​You get to say no and you don't even have to give said person a reason why either. How cool is that?

You don't have to like a band, hate a person, identify as gay/bi/straight, try a drug, do a shot, dye your hair, eat food, take a dare or do anything physically that you don't want to do. People of all ages will try to tell you otherwise, and they are wrong. This also goes for hugging someone creepy, eating a dessert that a coworker made or having a second helping of casserole because someone says "You are too skinny!" People often want some sort of validation for how they live their lives, and they will try to get someone to affirm their own choices by choosing them, too. You don't have to be that someone. 

​The flip side of this is that other people also don't have to do everything you tell them they have to do either. We each get to make our own choices, and take a "No" or "No thank you" or "I don't think so" as a real answer. Set the personal boundaries that are right for you, and accept other people's boundaries, too. 

Children and adults alike each deal with "emergencies" on a regular basis--many of which wouldn't have had to be emergencies with just a wee bit of forethought. Many day to day "emergencies" can be mitigated by having your cell phone, $10 in cash, and your house keys.

On the low end, here are a few super-easy tips from me to you. Bring a towel with you into the bathroom. Brush your teeth before you put on your lipstick. Put on your knee pads before your wrist guards. A little forethought goes a long way.

On to bigger and better things. Many other perceived "emergencies" have only become so because of neglecting to look ahead a few days to see what is coming up or a general lack of communication. On Sunday, look ahead at your week. Give me a heads up that you have a band concert, volleyball game, birthday party or sleepover at least 2 days before it happens. If I have to fill out paperwork, or give you permission to do something, or figure out any logistics, make that a week. All those activities that you are involved it don't just happen. It takes a bit to get a doctor's appointment for an athletics physical or request a copy of your vaccination records or lay hands on the special whatever-it-is that you want to get whats-her-name for whatever thing it is she's celebrating.

Also, just know that if you don't plan ahead, I am at the point where I'm done making your poor planning my emergency. I've got things going on too--must of which I had to schedule and arrange to accommodate all of your activities that I actually knew about.

Overall, take responsibility for your own life because no one is going to care more about your activities than you do. Get a calendar and write things down. While I'm temporarily still your chauffeur, I am not your concierge.

Everyone needs help from an adult sometimes. Everyone. You can talk to me, or if you'd rather, try out these people: your dad, your step-dad, my best friend, your best friend's mom, a teacher at school who you like. Talking to your friends is great, but sometimes you need an adult opinion. (I have 30 years of life experience on you--which means I've been through a few things that are totally new to you.) You are fortunate that you have many, many people who care about you who want you to be well. Even if you think it's the most horrible thing that anyone could ever do, let's talk and figure out what's next. Give me a chance to help before you do something extreme like running away, hurting yourself or hurting others. I am also happy to share my list of stupid things that I did as a child (and some after that) that I also thought were super horrible then that you will find laughably lame, now. 

​If you know of someone who you think needs help, tell one of us about that, too. I am happy to talk to your friends, their friends, other people's parents, or whoever else you think is struggling to help them get through it--whatever it might be. Life is often hard, and going through it alone makes it even harder. Let one of us help--which includes picking you up and helping you get out of a messed up situation at some god awful hour in the morning (which I will happily do whenever it is needed.) I'm also not going to yell at you or give you a hard time. Again. Here to help.

What is your top "adulting" advice for others?

The Twin Cities area has a history of involvement in officer-involved incidents where people of color were victims including Jamar Clark, Philando Castille, George Floyd, and Daunte Wright. Each of these incidents were tragic and indicate a system that is riddled with issues that desperately need to be addressed. I want to acknowledge these people, and others who have fallen victim.

​The focus of this blog entry is on how to navigate the civil unrest (including the looting and rioting) that often takes place after the peaceful protests have ended in a given day. Please note that my focus on information gathering during civil unrest is in no way intended to diminish these incidents or downplay their significance. 

Around Memorial Day of 2020, after the death of George Floyd while he was in police custody, my family and I lived 2 miles from the 3rd Precinct--the site of much of the civil unrest. During that time, we learned that information gathering was key in making decisions about the safety of our family. This includes staying out of the middle of a potentially violent crowd, being hit by stray bullets, or being in a place where you're in or near a building that is burning down. Part of my goal is determining when we need to leave the area to make sure that I help keep my family alive and well in the wake of civil unrest following a huge tragedy. 

We also realized that we had to work a little harder to get useful information. Now, with the Chauvin verdict looming and  concerns about unrest and looting following the death of Daunte Wright, it's a good time to review key ways to gather information when you find yourself in a place that is in a state of turmoil where civil unrest is likely.

Unicorn Riot is an independently run non-profit media organization consisting of artists and journalists. They live stream footage from events while they are happening on YouTube and have additional footage on their website. To see first-hand what is happening at protests, or see an event that started as a protest transform into a riot, we watched Unicorn Riot to see occurrences in real time. It's interesting to see what tactical approach law enforcement is taking as well as the tone of the group. You'll also hear unfiltered audio and commentary by participants and genuine reactions to what is happening. Since coverage on the local news is limited, and may be repetitive, it's helpful to see in-the-moment updates from people who are in the middle of what is happening.

The Citizen app is a helpful tool for keeping track of your location and how close specific activities are. Citizen pops up notices and the location of each activity as it relates to your location. Sometimes, updates and video footage are also included. This is a way to track where things are happening and if specific threats are moving closer to or further away from you. Events like gunshots, carjackings, fires, break ins, or police activity are reported by individuals and include a mile estimate for how close that activity is to you.  Events are also updated as more information develops. Citizen also includes more official notices, like curfews on a given night or protests in progress, to help make more informed decisions about whether to stay or go, and what route to use to leave town as needed. 

The Ring Video Doorbell has a few benefits. For one, you have a recording of any activity outside of the location of your Ring Doorbell using the camera. You can also access a live view to see what is happening in real time. In addition, the members of your Ring network (typically, your neighbors who also have Ring Doorbells) can report incidents based on police reports, recordings from their camera, or their personal observations. Since some issues are self reported, accuracy and usefulness of information may vary. It is a helpful source of information from neighbors and includes details that may not be significant enough to report to the police, but that can influence preparations.

We also used a scanner app to find out about possible issues as they were occurring. We used Police Scanner & Fire App to keep on top of calls made regarding possible crimes in progress and fires. During the Floyd Riots, arson was a huge issue. Since we live in a mixed use neighborhood, and rioters were burning down unoccupied apartments buildings and retail stores, we were keeping an eye on fires and their proximity to our home. We knew that firetrucks were not always able to get to all calls, and we also know that fire can also potentially hop from one building to another. Our goal was to stay ahead of possible fire so we could leave the area before we were in personal danger. 

How do you gather information during a crisis? Share your thoughts in the comments.

As humans in today’s fast-paced world, we often value getting the job done as quickly as possible. When it comes to helping people learn, lecturing’s, aka “just tell them everything they need to know,” becomes the unfortunate default mode of information delivery. Unfortunately, the process of knowledge transfer doesn’t work like a bank deposit, and we can’t just extract knowledge from one person and implant it in another. Instead, individuals need to engage with information so they understand what to do with those details and make them into their own, internalized knowledge. 

You know who loves stories? Little kids. Do you know why? They are trying to figure out what the world is all about and what to do with all of the things they are experiencing for the first time. Just like adults use stories to help children understand the world, stories help adults make the transition from bland best practice or potentially useful technique to thing-I-actually-do. Let’s look at three examples of how stories can be incorporated into training to engage people in the learning process and help adults actually learn.

In training, many times we’re covering abstract ideas, and sharing models for how to apply those ideas. Stories help us make that jump. Here's an example:

During a training with customer service professionals, we're trying to help them understand the importance of getting to know individual customers and catering to their unique needs. 

"Each customer is different. Every person who calls us on the phone has their own point of view and personal struggles that we may know nothing about. We need to find out what matters to them and emphasize those points as we speak to them. Overall, be careful about making assumptions about people’s wants and needs based on your personal preferences."

"Here’s an example of learning about our customers and tailoring our approach to their wants and needs.

While working at a table at a church conference, my job was to discuss health insurance benefits with pastors currently working in congregations. I was there to promote a great new benefit where pastors could earn $250 for completing an online health assessment quiz. For me, taking the health assessment was a no-brainer, because I thought, “Yay! Free money!”

I quickly learned, though, that this was not the prevailing opinion among the pastors. Several stopped to express outrage that the church was trying to BRIBE them to take the health assessment. Since many of the pastors prided themselves on being more concerned with doing good in the world than with money, having a financial reward for doing something that they should do anyway became a disincentive. 

One church leader realized that a different approach was needed. She used the concept of stewardship—which means taking care of the gifts God has given to you, including your money and your own personal health. She told pastors that it was their duty as leaders of the church to model good stewardship by taking the health assessment (especially since another benefit was helping their congregation to earn a discount on their health insurance premiums).

​By keeping the wants and needs of the audience in mind, and realizing that they may be very different from our own, we figured out how to position this benefit in a way that resonated with our audience. " 

This story takes an abstract concept (everyone is different) and drives it home. Since many people may identify with the person who would gladly take the health assessment to earn money, seeing a completely different, and often unexpected, viewpoint can be shocking. Adding details about people and context for why they have the values they do, can be eye-opening.

When you first learn a concept, it may sound good in the abstract, but you're not sure how to apply that idea in the real world. In professions like being a police officer or a fire fighter, stories are a way that seasoned staff help rookies learn from other people's experiences. Here's an example of how to use stories to share real-world examples.

With new corporate trainers, using proximity technique to deal with disruptive students in a classroom environment.

"When trying to manage students who are disrupting the classroom, using proximity can be helpful. In short, standing near a student can help them to realize that they need to change their behavior."

"During student introductions at the beginning of a sales training class, Alice, a branch manager sitting at a table in the back of the room, was explaining what she hoped to gain from class.

In the middle of Alice’s introduction, Jim (the top insurance salesperson in the region) answered his phone. He was sitting at the front table in the classroom, and there was no way for the whole class NOT to hear his conversation as he loudly explained the concept of accident forgiveness.

I asked Alice to pause for a moment, then walked over to Jim, and stood next to him for a moment. He looked at me, I smiled at him, and then he put his hand over his phone long enough to say, “I’ll step outside to finish this call.” I nodded to let him know that I appreciate it. Once he left, Alice finished up, and the next person did their introduction.
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In this case, standing next to Jim was the cue he needed to realize that he was doing something disruptive and self-correct his behavior."

​The story involves people with names and characteristics. This shows on sometimes challenging student, a high performing salesperson, and a situation that may resonate with students. It also shows how using a relatively simple solution can solve the problem, and help the trainer maintain control of their classroom. This story shows students how they can apply the skill, which may also help them identify when they could use a specific skill in their classroom.  

When I’ve observed technical trainers, most of them are great at taking people through the step by step process needed to make something work. However, many times the question “why would we ever do this?” is missed. If people don’t get why the process matters, they will have a hard time mustering up enough energy to pay attention. Here's an example of how to use a story to set up a scenario within a technical training course.

Showing students in an intermediate Microsoft Word class how to use the mail merge feature to create mailing labels. 

"We’re going to create mailing labels. This would be helpful if you needed to mail the same item, like a marketing campaign, to multiple people. You could even use a mailing list that you had saved in Excel as the starting point for your mailing labels."

"Joanie and Chachi are getting married and having the big wedding of Joannie’s dreams.

Now that it’s time to address invitations, her best friend, Jenny Piccalo, points out that addressing 500 envelopes by hand is going to be excruciating.

Joannie has a great idea! Why not use the Excel file they’ve created and use the Mail Merge feature in Word to create mailing labels! They can even use one of those handwriting style fonts to help them match the script on the invitations.

Let’s look at how to set that up."

Especially in technical training, sometimes we get so caught up in the “click here, click there, GOOD LORD NOT THERE” aspect of it that we forget to tell students why they’d ever bother to do the process we’re explaining. Giving them a why, in this case a why that aligns with concepts people know (the joys of managing the postal aspects of a big event) and incorporating fictional characters (who doesn’t love a little Happy Days reference?) adds a layer of lightheartedness that is often missing from technical training. 

​Why do you think telling stories in training is beneficial? What is your favorite story to tell? How does it enhance the learning process? Include your thoughts in the comments. 

No one wants to be a victim. People talk a lot about self defense--which I usually think of as the ability to defend yourself against an attacker. Ideally, though, we can learn how to prevent many of those situations from becoming physical altercations. 

I think it is important to be able to defend yourself. Most self-defense training, though, focuses on the point where you're being attacked, not on ways to prevent an attack from ever taking place. Here, I'm focusing on putting yourself in a position where you can avoid an incident (like being assaulted, robbed or raped) altogether.

As someone who lives in a large city, currently with an increase in crime, and doesn't want to live afraid, I focus on these three concepts for staying out of harm's way: situational awareness, being an imperfect victim and listening to my intuition. ​

Situational awareness is a fancy way of saying "pay attention." I'm amazed by the people I see on a regular basis, who seem completely disconnected from the world around them. For many, there seems to be the prevalent attitude that bad things simply will not happen to them regardless of what they do. Being actively disconnected from what is going on around you make you more likely to be assaulted or a victim of theft.

Here's what a lack of situational awareness looks like:

• A person walks on a busy sidewalk, singing along with a loud song on their headphones and nearly walks in front of a delivery truck.
• A person at the supermarket parks their cart across the middle of an aisle so no one else can get through and checks for store coupons on their phone.
• A person stands in front of the train door and answers a phone call as people try to get around them to enter and exit. 

Here's what situational awareness looks like: 

• A person walks into a room, takes a cursory look around to see who's there, and mentally notes where the exits are.
• A person slows down as not to walk too close to the person in front of them, and notices that someone is walking behind them on their left. ​
  
• A person who, near the end of their drive home, first looks to see if anyone is following them, then looks at the cars parked on the street in near their house and if they are occupied before getting out of the car as not to be a carjacking victim.​

Overall, situational awareness is making a little effort to notice your physical environment so that you are in tune with it, instead of constantly surprised by it.

Again, no one wants to be a victim, but many of us do things that make us more likely to be one. Since typically people who are going to rob or rape others are looking for easy targets, being perceived as difficult is a great way to avoid an incident. 

Here's what imperfect victims look like:

• They walk with purpose and exude confidence. Their heads are up, and they are aware of the people, places and things around them. If someone gets too close, they look them directly in the face.
• They are sober, know where they are going and how to get there. They don't say things like "I've never been in this city before and I'm not even sure what hotel I'm staying in."
• They have their purses and bags zipped shut and carry them in a way that they are not easily snatched. Their have their money and other valuables secured or out of sight. 

Imperfect victims also remember their boundaries. Too often, especially as women, we try to accommodate other people's requests because we want to be liked. Remember, though, you don't have to be nice to random people who approach you and demand things from you. You do not have to shake someone's hand, hug someone, or tolerate someone in your personal space. You do not have to give anything to an aggressive panhandler.

​Tell people no, and do it loudly if required. Put your hands up between you and them when you say "no" to let them know they really do need to stop. You may even need to yell "Get away from me" loudly to make it clear that they need to give you space. People who speak up are perceived as being more trouble than they are worth. 

You know how sometimes dogs don't like certain people? Or how babies cry and do not want to be held by just anyone? Their intuition​ is what makes them want to avoid some people. Unlike small children or animals, as adults, we tend to ignore our intuition.  This is out of a sense of politeness or fear of being accused of being one of the bad -ists (racist, sexist, elitist). We need to re-learn to listen to our intuition for the sake of our well-being and trust that. This is not about political correctness or offending someone we don't even know. This is about our personal safety in what could be a dangerous situation.

Here are those feelings you need to honor: 

• Does it feel like someone's too close? Does someone creep you out? 
• Do you have a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach?
• Does something not look quite right?

Those weird feelings that you can't quite put into words? Listen to them. Remember, sometimes, our bodies figure thing out before our brains catch up. We need to learn to pay attention to our surroundings with our heads, and our bodies, and heed that warning. It will help keep us safe.

What safety tips do you have? How do you keep yourself out of harm's way?

Going to work expecting to finish up a report and lead a meeting and having your workday end abruptly at 10:00 AM walking to your car with a box containing all of your workly positions, is jarring. What's even more jarring is the realization that now--SURPRISE--you have to find a new job so that you can continue your extravagant lifestyle of living indoors and eating on a regular basis. 

For the whole of my professional career, I have worked in the field of corporate education in positions like software trainer, training specialist, sales training manager and instructional designer. Like many of my colleagues, I've also been laid off three times in my 20+ year career.  (I know people who have me beat by at least a couple of times.)  While fixating on the fear of losing your job is a horrible way to exist, there are a few things that you can do now--while you're happily, gainfully employed--that can help lessen the blow if you do happen to find yourself suddenly in need of a new position.

If you read any articles about effective ways to find a new position, leveraging your professional network is a key piece of advice. It's also harder to start networking when you have your proverbial hat in your hand and need something. It's better to start building your professional network before you need something. Your network is also much more than a job search resource.

LinkedIn is a great tool to help you build and connect with others. In the beforetimes (pre-pandemic), I would connect with people on LinkedIn after we had met in person. Now, I proactively connect with industry leaders, people I encounter at professional development meetings I attend via Zoom, or I ask to connect with people who share common interests with me. 

I also interact with people on LinkedIn. I post content that highlights my industry knowledge, comment on people's posts, and share posts that resonate with me. Being a good "LinkedIn neighgbor", and building your network before you need to use it for a job search, is a great way to position yourself or future success.

I was once laid off from a job where I had been for eitght years. When my position was eliminated due to corporate restructuring, putting my resume together again was a challenge since I had years of diverse work experience to document. At that time, I knew details about recent projects, but it was harder for me to piece together all that I had done, and salient details that would help me get hired elsewhere.

Fortunately, and in rather unusual fashion, I was given a couple of months of notice that my job would be ending. That gave me the time to review my calendar, and files, to put together detailed descriptions of what I had done. This helped me put together a master resume. This isn't the final resume that you use to apply for a position. This is the big huge ridiculous document that contains everything you've done ever. From here, you pick and choose details that you'll include in your for real applying-for-a-job resume. 

In general,  I've become more proactive about recording what I do. While these projects are fresh in my mind, I write down specifics on what I did, who I worked with, outcomes and tangible results. This helps me not only for a someday job search, but it also helps me position myself for additional projects and roles at my current workplace as the company grows and evolves. Keeping a detailed list of projects, responsibilities and skills you were able to use will make resume writing much easier when the time comes.

Once upon a time, I was planning on being a high school English teacher. While my current career path focuses on education, suffice it to say that I ended up in a very different place than I originally envisioned. ​With each role that I have had, my skill set has grown immensely. 

When I look at how the world has changed since earned my undergraduate degree, it's amazing. One of my first training jobs was as a software instructor teaching people how to use the big scary Internet. My first few job searches were done relying predominantly on the want ads in the Sunday newspaper. At one company, we were on the bleeding edge of technology by using instructor-led web based training before training by webinar was standard. With advances in technology, the workforce, and worldwide economic factors, things are always changing, and to stay employeable, you need to keep up. 

Don't wait until your job's future seems uncertain to start learning. Go to professional meetings. Read website dedicated to your field. Listen to podcasts on topics of interest. Look at job descriptions for emerging positions to see what kinds of skills are in demand. Keep updating your skills so you're not left behind when change happens around you. ​Be Amazon, not Nokia.

What other career advice do you have to share?

Earlier pandemic, I was outside A LOT. Now that it's colder, and darker, and Minnesota is in another round of closing entertainment venues (specifically roller skating rinks), I'm knitting more again. If you're interested, here is my go-to knit hat pattern, complete with supplies lists and a few video tutorials on techniques. Here we go!

As I’ve started to do more networking through one on one Zoom meetings, I have talked with many colleagues who are interested in switching jobs and are dusting off their resumes. After we talk a little about what type of a position interests them, I usually give them a little bit of resume feedback. As a many-time hiring manager, I have seen lots of bad, and lots of sort of okay, and just a few resumes that were really, really good. For me, I think a resume needs to answer three very important questions. Having a resume that addresses these questions gets you out off the no pile and into the “I am excited to talk with them” pile. 

​A few years ago, I was working on filling an instructional designer position on my team at a software company. I received one resume where the person’s career objective stated that they wanted to be a curator at a museum. The good news: this person knew what they wanted and made it very clear in their resume. The bad news: they didn’t want the job I had available.

Most (like maybe a good half) of resumes that end up in the “no” pile are so nondescript, they could be applying for any number of office positions. Once, when I was hiring a technical trainer position. I received a resume for someone who had a lot of experience in corrections working as a prison guard. The good news: this person had many potentially transferable skills. The bad news: I didn’t know if this person was interested in this particular role, or was mass applying for anything that wasn’t their current job.

For many people, it may be easy enough to tell if a person wants the job based on their past job titles. If they have always been a project manager, and this is a project manager position, or a senior project manager position, it’s a pretty good bet that they are interested in this job.  Then there are the rest of us, who are decidedly less well-behaved. Some people have a lot of job titles that don’t necessarily logically flow together (like people who have changed careers). Others have careers where positions went from managing people, to being an individual contributor, to freelancing, to being at a VP level, to being an individual contributor again. No career path is wrong per say, but when applying for a job, be sure to make it clear what you are looking for now—and that it is, indeed, the open position.

​Overall, do just enough tailoring on your resume that the hiring manager knows that you are interested in the available job and applied for it on purpose. Given how costly a bad hire can be, help the hiring manager know that you for real want to do the job in question.

Once I know a given candidate want the job, next, I look for some indication that the person has the skills to do the job. With some candidates, their work experience is neat and tidy and in the order one might expect. For example, they were a call center representative, then a senior call center representative, then a call center supervisor, then a call center manager. If they were applying for a call center manager position, from their job titles alone, I can be reasonably sure they can do the job. With that, adding in keywords from the job description and adding details about their previous education and work responsibilities as they relate to this specific position, it’s not a stretch to think they are qualified.  

If the candidate didn’t have a lot of experience in a similar role, I’d expect them to describe what they did in previous positions and show how their work experience prepared them for this role. For example, if I’m hiring for an instructional designer position, the job description might include something like “collaborates with subject matter experts to assess training needs and create learning materials for client-facing courses.” If someone with a background as an elementary school teacher applied, they should show how their previous work experience relates to the available position. For example, they might include “collaborated with subject matter experts in the media center to assess training needs and create learning materials for a course for parents on encouraging their children to read more.” Without emphasizing those transferable skills, I might not be convinced that they could perform the tasks required.
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Overall, be sure to make it as obvious as you can that you are able to do the core tasks that the job requires. 

Filling an open position takes a long time and is a huge gamble. The goal is to find someone who wants the position, can do it, and who will want to be in that position (or a part of your organization) for a good, long time. Never, with certainty, can you be happy that a candidate will take the position if offered to them or stay in that role (or with your company).

This part of resume assessment is really teeing up the phone screen, and honing the questions I’ll need to ask. Will this salary be in line with their desired salary range? Will they be happy working from the office or working from home the amount required? Will they work well with the level of structure and formality at this organization? Will they want to travel as much (or as little) as is needed with this job? Are they going to be happy managing or not managing people? As a hiring manager, details in the resume is helpful as a starting point for those questions.  

What do you think? What questions do you think a resume needs to answer? Include your insights in the comments. 

When it comes to healthy habits, figuring out how to stay motivated is the ball game. I think we all know that we should (in it’s simplest form) eat less and move more. The trick is figuring out how to make good decisions for future you (who wants to age well) while also contending with current you, who very much wants to eat batter fried cheese curds and binge watch “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. (Just as a for instance.)

Aside from working on making long-term dietary changes and working on my mindset in general, I find that having another layer of accountability helps. Since I HATE HATE HATE spending money stupid, apps that not only gamify the process but include a financial incentive help me stay motivated as I strive to help future Brenda live a long, active, and healthy life. Her are my top three apps, plus one bonus app, that help me do just that. 

Stepbet helps people with motivation and accountability as they strive to be more active as measured by an increase in steps taken. It requires use of a fitness tracker to track steps and participate in challenges. Stepbet runs 6-week walking challenges that usually cost $40 for an individual to enter. Upon completing the challenge successfully, participants receive their $40 back, and usually a little more, with the amount depending on how many people finished and get to split the pot. (I have earned as much as $53 total.) Step goals are based on increasing your current steps per day. 4 days per week have a regular step goal with 2 days having even higher stretch goals.
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I used Stepbets as a starting point when preparing for my first 5K. I have also used Stepbets anytime my activity level has gotten too low to kickstart my increased exercise.   

Runbet is very similar to Stepbet (and is also a part of WayBetter), but has a focus on helping with accountability as people build the running habit. Runbet hosts 2-8 week challenges (most are 6 weeks) like Starter 5k, Making Running a Habit, Getting Back Into Running, and Run to Lose Weight. Challenges specify how fast participants need to run (18 minutes per mile for the beginner challenges), frequency of running required (3-6 times per week), and required time or mileage to be achieved. Participants can use the free Runkeeper app to track their running outside, or submit a picture of the treadmill readout and a “sweaty selfie” to confirm mileage run indoors.
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I participated in two Runbet when preparing to run my first 5K. Having a set schedule, and the extra motivation of not losing my $40, helped me to keep in the running habit. Also, since the pace was 18 minutes per mile, I could walk at a good pace and still make the time. 

HealthyWage take accountability to a whole new level. Where as Runbet and Stepbet focus on activity, HealthyWage focuses on results—specifically a change in the scale. The goals are much more flexible, as is the amount of money to “bet” on the desired outcome, amount of weight to lose, and timeframe needed. Based on inputs, you see how much you could make.  

From there, you do an official weigh in—which includes submitting a video of you weighing yourself with specific parameters to verify that it is you on the scale, and that you’re not falsifying information.
 
In addition to the main challenge, there are additional contests you can also take part in. Those include challenges to lose 6% of your body weight and challenges that increase your overall activity level as measured through step count. I signed up for a step challenge—specifically the Winter Walk-A-Thon Step Challenge. My current step average was calculated from recent FitBit data. From there, HealthyWage sets a goal for me to reach which is 25% above my current step count. For this 60-day challenge, I pay $30 per month, and I need to achieve a total number of steps over the course of the challenge that is equal to 60 days-worth of steps at the identified step count.

For example, if my established step goal is 10,000 per day, over the course of 60 days, I would need to take 600,000 steps, which averages out to 10,000 per day. There is no daily goal, however (which I like a lot). If I move a lot on one day, my displayed average daily steps needed will decrease to cover that difference. If I have a relatively stationary day, my displayed average daily steps needed will increase. One way or another, though, I need to meet that established step goal in the timeframe, so I win the bet.
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I just recently signed up for HealthyWage. I’ve built, and lost, and built good routines for fitness in the past. Now, it was time for me to make sure those good fitness habits stuck, and that I also fine tuned my diet. Using HealthyWage to hold me accountable for weight loss AND increasing my activity will help give me another layer of accountability to meet my goals. 

Runbet, Stepbet, and HealthyWage impact fitness related habits and results to help with accountability. The motivation is both not losing your initial investment and the possibility of earning a financial reward.
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Stickk is a helpful as a stick, rather than a carrot, to help you stay accountable for a goal, fitness or otherwise. Instead of giving you the opportunity to win, with Stickk, it motivates you to meet your goal so you don’t lose. Stickk has to pick an Anti-charity where you’ll have to donate if you do not reach your goal. You can even identify people who will verify that you achieved your goal. In my case, I used this as another form of motivation for completing the Northshore Inline Marathon. It was also a case where my teenage daughter (also not a fan of my anti-cause) threatened to “kick my ass” if I didn’t meet my goal. That’s what I call accountability.

How do you stay motivated to meet your health and fitness goals? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Like many adults, I have what feels like a never-ending to-do list. No matter how much progress I make, I often dismiss what I have accomplished because I'm too busy focusing on all of the things I haven't done. 

A couple of years ago, I had a boss who encouraged me to make a success list on a weekly basis. This was a great way for me to remind myself that I am making progress--even if it doesn't always feel like it's the case. In addition to my weekly success list, I decided to take personal inventory and do a quick list for the past year.

1.  Added daily yoga to my wellness routine.
2.  Applied for 21 jobs and had 12 interviews.
3.  Bought running shoes I absolutely love and ran my first 5k.
4.  Celebrated my 10-year anniversary with my husband.

5.  Connected with over 100 new colleagues on LinkedIn.
6.  Cut my daily commute time by 1 hour per day.
7.  Decided to quit doing roller derby for a while to focus on being a roller derby mom.
8. Didn’t totally freak out when my daughter was on a two-week trip to Asia with a school affiliated group.
9.  Enrolled my daughter a drivers ed class and started my role as a driving coach.
10. Found an awesome new chiropractor.
11. Got a new FitBit and finished 3 StepBet challenges.
12. Got our cat, Zippy, through ear surgery. (Now she has one ear hole, but two cosmetic ears).

13. Learned how to slow down on hills in inline skates. (Next year I hope to have a little more style in my slowing down.)
14. Logged over 80 gym visits.
15. Outlined a book on job searching and job transition.
16. Published 18 blog articles.
17. Ran over 70 miles and inline skated over 250 miles on outdoor trails.
18. Saw “Die Hard”, “They Live”, and “When Harry Met Sally” at the Parkway Theatre.
19. Skated my first inline 10K event and didn’t die, then skated my first inline marathon and finished in under 3 hours.

20. Started a great new job as the Director of Training at a software company.  
21. Survived my second position elimination in 2 years and found a great new job in less than 2 months.
22. Tried spinning and enjoyed it. 
23. Vacationed in New Orleans.
24. Watched all the episodes of Will and Grace and Friday Night Lights.
25. Wrote my very first knitting pattern.

What is on your success list for this past year? Include your thoughts in the comments.

Most people in the business world know that social media can be a powerful tool to help get the word out. Unfortunately, while many people understand the value in the abstract, often they don’t really know why it makes sense, or how to​ go about doing it at all, much less doing it well.  As someone who has worked with a variety of independent businesspeople (including artists, musicians, self-defense trainers, real estate agents, and more), I have learned a few key strategies for leveraging social media well. 

While many small businesspeople are on board for using social media in the abstract, I have noticed that many people make two common mistakes. For one, people have no plan at all. Maybe they go so far as to create bare bones accounts on some combination of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and then stop. They may not even have a picture to use, or be sure how to describe who they are. In short, they start and quickly fizzle out because they aren’t sure what to do next. For those that manage to complete their account profiles, they typically err in a different direction. After they have their accounts, and even follow a few people, they might make posting after posting that say nothing more than “buy my stuff.” I’m not even sure which one is worse. Both result in a social media profile done poorly that won’t have the desired result.

According to the Internet (and, yes, the article link is included below), 79% of US adults have at least one social media profile, meaning there are approximately 243.6 million social media users. That’s a whole lot of people who businesses can access in between pictures of friends’ kids and live tweeting their favorite television show. Not only are those people available, but social media accounts are free to open and use with the opportunity to pay to further boost messages and connect with more people. Social media use can help humanize your brand and build brand awareness, which can result in a larger customer base—which can lead to more revenue from views, sales closed, and return business.  

​So how does one go about doing social media well? For one, you have to have something to say—and that something can not just be “buy my stuff.” We’re building a brand here. So who are you and what do you want to say to who? How do you want to be perceived? What do you stand for? How do you help people? What kind of content might interest the people that you’re trying to reach? Who are those people? Thinking through those core questions can help you figure out what it is you want to say. Figuring out your core message is mission critical to making social media work for you. 

While “buy my stuff” can be one of the types of messages shared, ideally, that’s only 10% of what you’re saying. So what else should you be talking about? Here are a few ideas that I’ve used while promoting the Mellow Fury Etsy shop. These tie into the knit hats I make and sell, and my best sellers are sci-fi or comic book themed. 

​What are your thoughts on using social media well to promote your small business? Include your thoughts in the comments.