All The FeelsWhether due to an economic downturn, an acquisition, or company reorganization, I’ve found myself in an unexpected career transition six times over the past 20 years. Even having gone through several layoffs, it’s still an emotional experience each and every time. Here is the bad and the ugly of the feelings I’ve personally gone through.  This is my white box from a previous layoff. ShockThe phone call from HR, the perp walk through the office to the dreaded conference room, the last minute ominous meeting invite, or the oddly timed tap on the shoulder all seem to come out of nowhere. There is something surreal about being pulled into a virtual or in-person room and having someone look you dead in the eye and tell you that you were going to go through a big life change starting, well, now. Even if there were layoff rumors, or news about leadership changes, or low sales report for the quarter, it’s always a surprise on the date and time when layoffs go down. It’s the feeling of the ground being pulled out from under. It’s the gap between expecting a full day of meetings and finding yourself in you car mid-morning with a white box. AngerEven in cases where I was actively looking for a new role, there’s a certain amount of anger that goes along with a layoff. I was angry learning about the people who didn’t get laid off (like that guy whose messes I’ve been cleaning up for the last year) and comparing my perceived value to theirs. I’ve been angry at the timing (right after vacation, right before a holiday) and how that makes finding something new a longer process. I’ve been mad that yesterday’s mission critical work-all-night project has now become irrelevant. Mostly, I’ve been mad that someone else decided when I didn’t get to do that job anymore instead of me getting to choose when it was time for me to move on. Feeling that lack of control if often the hardest part. SadnessLeaving a job abruptly leaves a big hole in your life starting with the 9+ hours per workday being replaced with dead air and uncertainty. People who earlier that day were coworkers, casual work friendships, or confidents now may be nothing at all now that you no longer share an employer. The consistency of a morning routine, daily commute, and regularly scheduled meetings are replaced with a period of uncertainty that may last a week or a year. Sometimes it’s easy to be hopeful about the future, and other times it’s hard not to be mired in sadness about all the things you can’t control.  Working through sadness. FearThere is plenty to be afraid of. The idea of not having a paycheck is horrifying. Not knowing how long your final payout or severance check has to last is unnerving. Now knowing how long unemployment will last and what job you’ll end up with—is, at times, unbearable. I fear being unemployed endlessly and not being able to support myself. I worry about panicking and taking the first job offered to me. I worry about holding out for something closer to the “perfect” job that may never come. I worry that I will never get a job as good as the one I had. On the worst days, when fear has given way to full-on catastrophizing, I worry that I will lose my house, my car, my professional reputation, and everyone I’ve ever loved. The Good NewsWhile all of these feelings are difficult and unpleasant, it’s important to acknowledge what is happening. It’s helpful to focus on the possibilities the future holds while also grieving the loss of your previous job. After addressing the sadness for the loss of the future you thought you would have, then you can decide what you want your next career step to look like and take steps to get to that even better future.  Work through the negative emotions to get to hope. What Do You Think?Have you been through a layoff? What feelings have you experienced? Include your thoughts in the comments. Learn More
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Interviewing for a New RoleAs a now 6-time layoff survivor, I have done many job searches, and had many interviews. Recently, I read an article about a job searcher who opted out of one hiring process. He did this after making it through three rounds of interviews, and having the organization ask about arranging the next six (yes, six) additional rounds of interviews. (I included an article with details in the "Learn More" section.) I felt compelled to share my own story about one seemingly never-ending interview process. Like with many things in life, it took a bad experience to teach me how to make better decisions around participating in interview processes when job searching.  Interviewing can be stressful. Especially if it feels like it is a never-ending process. Job Interviewing Boundary Setting is Hard Let me start by taking a moment to acknowledge that this is not always easy to do. When you’re hip deep in a job search, especially when you’re unemployed, it is hard to set boundaries. The longer the search goes on, the easier it is to tell yourself that you’ll summit Everest if a potential employer asks you to as part of possibly FINALLY getting a paying job. Here is your reminder that it’s important for you to realize that jumping through more and more hoops doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll end up with a job at the end of the process. Do your future job searching self a favor and think through what your boundaries are when it comes to participating in a given company's hiring process. We'll revisit this a little later. The Perfect Job! (or was it...)During this particular job search, I was laid off at the end of the summer. From previous job searches, I hoped to find a new position before Thanksgiving, because otherwise it might be until February or March before I secured a new role. I was very excited when I ran across THE PERFECT JOB! It was an opening for a training director position within an easy commuting distance where I even knew someone who had connections within the organization. Lessons Learned: Don’t fall in love with a job. Even if it seems like “the perfect job”, it is not yet “your job”. Apply, hope for the best, but keep on applying. Until you have an actual accepted job offer, it is not “your job.” The Inside ScoopI met with my professional connection, and they filled me in. I learned about the organization, their clientele, their mission, the key players in the hiring process, and useful background information. My connection even put in a good word with the organization (they had left on good terms.) I also learned that the company had a some turnover in this position, so they were trying to make sure they did their due diligence and hired the right person this time around. Lesson Learned: Even when you’re excited because you found THE PERFECT JOB, gather information and listen to what people tell you. This company having gone through two people in the role in a relatively short period of time, and being concerned about making another hiring misstep is something I heard, and noted, but I didn't really listen to as much as I should have. In this case, the company was trying (maybe a little too) hard to hire the right person for the role. It could have also indicated that there was something about the company or the role that caused people not to stay. Again, my future self knows to synthesize information gathered more carefully--and not emphasizing only the good things. The Phone InterviewsI applied, and my connection put in a good word for me. Very quickly, the company reached out to me for an initial phone screen. Then a phone interview. Then another phone interview. Then yet another phone interview. After four phone calls—each where the interviewer seemed excited about me as a candidate and talked about who else I needed to talk to—I started to wonder what the whole game plan for this whole process was (aside from their overwhelming goal not to make a hiring mistake). Lessons Learned: In the initial phone screen or the first interview, be sure to ask what the hiring process is. Decide what your boundaries are, and if you’re willing to do all of the things they want you to do. Remember, you are interviewing them, too. Make no assumptions. Don't get so excited that they keep wanting to talk with you that you keep on going not knowing what the whole process will be (and if you're willing to continue on that path).  Not the actual phone I used for the many, many phone interviews. The Work SamplesIn addition to talking to different interviewers on multiple occasions, the company wanted to see work samples. I emailed work samples and met with a subject matter expert who was well-versed in adult education and instructional design. They complimented me on the trainer guide, videos, and job aids I had created. They told me they were impressed with my work, and learned from what I told them. At this point, they told me the next step was for me to meet with the company founder. Lessons Learned: Have a portfolio online that people can access, or let people know that you are happy to review work samples (and your process) with them in an in-person or Zoom meeting. The Zoom MeetingsI was excited to be meeting the company founder, who was also a published author. In preparation, I bought and read their most recent book, researched their accomplishments, read their blog articles, and their body of work. During the interview, we had a great conversation, which included a lot of “when we work together” and “next steps” language. This meeting was followed by multiple Zoom meetings with different stakeholders explaining the next steps in this process—which they called an “in-box experience.” During this phase, I would come into their office and work for a half day. I would have a chance to interact with multiple people with whom I would work, including consultants and a client. This would require me to sign a non-disclosure agreement, work on a project for an actual client, and present information to a client. Lessons Learned: No matter how many interviews you have, or how much they seem to like you, remember you do not have the job until they have made you an offer and you have come to an agreement about your compensation. Remember that the goal of this process is that the employer decides if they want to work with you, and you decide if you want to work with them. Looking back, I'm frustrated with myself that I invested this much time without talking about salary expectations.  Zoom for even more interviews. The In-Box ExperienceThe Wednesday before Thanksgiving, at 8:00 am, I arrived for my in-box experience. I brought my computer and the work I had done so far. I was told that I needed to use their computer for my work that day. During the four hours that I was there pretending I worked for them, I had an in-person panel interview with people I had talked with via phone, interviewed via Zoom with a consultant, ran a project meeting, completed work on instructional materials for a client, and got feedback on my performance along the way. I had a final conversation with one of the decision makers before ending my day. I was told I'd hear back early the following week. Lessons Learned: Determine ahead of time how much you are willing to do for a role, and when to call it. Remember, you're interviewing them, too.  Come work for us for half a day--for free! Thanks, But NoIn the middle of the following week, I got a call back. It was very brief. Thanks for my time, but they had decided not to proceed with me as a candidate. If I like, though, they would be willing to add me to their possible consultant database for future contract work. Lesson Learned: Never again. In short, I spent about 45 hours total, including about 15 hours of unpaid work that I did for the company, to end up with no job offer. Time to transition those lessons learned into new personal guidelines. Boundary SettingRemember the boundary setting I mentioned before? Here's where we revisit it. After going through this process (and getting mad all over again writing this up), I am reminded of the outcome of those lessons learned for me.
What Do You Think?What have you personally learned during the job interviewing process? Include your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreNetwork Building in the BeforetimesPre-pandemic, "networking" typically meant attending in-person events, shaking a few hands, and having a somewhat meaningful conversation with another human. While some of those in-person opportunities are intermittently available, large group events are more the exception than the norm. As with other lessons learned on adapting to remote work, the way we build our professional networks also has to adapt.  Enter the WebinarLike many people, I have attended (and delivered) approximately a bijillion online meetings, trainings, and interactive instructor-led sessions over the last little bit. I've been approaching these sessions with a mind towards not just attending, but also making new connections. The process is different, but I realized that I've actually managed to connect with more people (and often form more meaningful connections), that I sometimes do working a room. As someone who runs introverted and communicates effectively in writing, this was an opportunity to turn webinars into a bonus network building exercise. Finding Possible ConnectionsWhen attending a webinar where interaction was promoted, I made sure to participate. I also noted other attendees (sometimes taking screen shots of the participant pane) and what contributions each person made. After the session, I would use those details to follow up on those fledgling connections on LinkedIn. Researching Potential ConnectionsAfter attending a webinar, here is my process for adding new LinkedIn connections:
 Key Components of a Connection RequestPersonalizing connection requests is a great way to start building a relationship with a new professional contact.
Connection Request ExamplesHere are a few examples of messages that you can use to invite people to connect. You have 300 characters total to use for personalizing connection requests. Hi, Jen. I see we both attended today’s White Box Club meeting. I’m also in transition and seeking a new role in learning and development. Let's connect! I'm also always up for a 30-minute "virtual coffee" meeting to discuss how we can help one another as we job search. --Brenda Hi, Jack. Great to interact with you a bit at this morning's Excellence Share. I love sharing ideas with fellow L&D professionals. Let's connect! --Brenda Hi, Javier. Welcome to the PACT organization! I know I personally appreciate everything I learn from this awesome group of people. Since you mentioned that you are job searching, be sure to check out The White Box Club on Meetup to help you as you find your next role. Keep in touch! --Brenda After The Initial ConnectionHow do you further nurture that relationship? Here are a few ideas.
What Do You Think?What are your strategies for building your network online. Learn MoreI am a parent to a teenage daughter. [Insert appropriate level of panic here.] Personally, I don't think most people really know what they are doing when it comes to parenting. I always felt like there would be a magical day when I felt grown up and like I knew all of the secrets of the world. Suffice it to say that it hasn't happened. Regardless, I have a child, and she's growing up, so I've continued to make things up as I've gone along, and it's been going pretty well. So far, she's a likable, considerate person who gets decent grades, has a lot of interests, and has friends whose parents I don't hate. As an extra added bonus, she gets along with me as a mom and a tolerable adult figure. I consider that a win. With that less than stellar resume of my parental qualifications, here are my top 3 pieces of unsolicitied life advice for my teenage daughter. Who knows. Maybe your child, or any random adult for that matter, will learn a little something.  My daughter, looking only moderately angsty. 1. You actually don't "HAVE TO" do most things.There are some basic life things that we all have to do--but there's a whole lot that we actually don't have to do, but that we do out of obligation. Let me rephrase. You do not have to do everything people ask or tell you to do, like or try. You get to say no and you don't even have to give said person a reason why either. How cool is that? You don't have to like a band, hate a person, identify as gay/bi/straight, try a drug, do a shot, dye your hair, eat food, take a dare or do anything physically that you don't want to do. People of all ages will try to tell you otherwise, and they are wrong. This also goes for hugging someone creepy, eating a dessert that a coworker made or having a second helping of casserole because someone says "You are too skinny!" People often want some sort of validation for how they live their lives, and they will try to get someone to affirm their own choices by choosing them, too. You don't have to be that someone. The flip side of this is that other people also don't have to do everything you tell them they have to do either. We each get to make our own choices, and take a "No" or "No thank you" or "I don't think so" as a real answer. Set the personal boundaries that are right for you, and accept other people's boundaries, too.  Just because all the other girls in the forest are tossing their baskets in the air, you don't have to toss yours, too. 2. Plan ahead--at least a little bit.Children and adults alike each deal with "emergencies" on a regular basis--many of which wouldn't have had to be emergencies with just a wee bit of forethought. Many day to day "emergencies" can be mitigated by having your cell phone, $10 in cash, and your house keys. On the low end, here are a few super-easy tips from me to you. Bring a towel with you into the bathroom. Brush your teeth before you put on your lipstick. Put on your knee pads before your wrist guards. A little forethought goes a long way. On to bigger and better things. Many other perceived "emergencies" have only become so because of neglecting to look ahead a few days to see what is coming up or a general lack of communication. On Sunday, look ahead at your week. Give me a heads up that you have a band concert, volleyball game, birthday party or sleepover at least 2 days before it happens. If I have to fill out paperwork, or give you permission to do something, or figure out any logistics, make that a week. All those activities that you are involved it don't just happen. It takes a bit to get a doctor's appointment for an athletics physical or request a copy of your vaccination records or lay hands on the special whatever-it-is that you want to get whats-her-name for whatever thing it is she's celebrating. Also, just know that if you don't plan ahead, I am at the point where I'm done making your poor planning my emergency. I've got things going on too--must of which I had to schedule and arrange to accommodate all of your activities that I actually knew about. Overall, take responsibility for your own life because no one is going to care more about your activities than you do. Get a calendar and write things down. While I'm temporarily still your chauffeur, I am not your concierge.  Get a calendar. Write stuff down. Stop asking me what day it is. 3. Seek out help when you need it.Everyone needs help from an adult sometimes. Everyone. You can talk to me, or if you'd rather, try out these people: your dad, your step-dad, my best friend, your best friend's mom, a teacher at school who you like. Talking to your friends is great, but sometimes you need an adult opinion. (I have 30 years of life experience on you--which means I've been through a few things that are totally new to you.) You are fortunate that you have many, many people who care about you who want you to be well. Even if you think it's the most horrible thing that anyone could ever do, let's talk and figure out what's next. Give me a chance to help before you do something extreme like running away, hurting yourself or hurting others. I am also happy to share my list of stupid things that I did as a child (and some after that) that I also thought were super horrible then that you will find laughably lame, now. If you know of someone who you think needs help, tell one of us about that, too. I am happy to talk to your friends, their friends, other people's parents, or whoever else you think is struggling to help them get through it--whatever it might be. Life is often hard, and going through it alone makes it even harder. Let one of us help--which includes picking you up and helping you get out of a messed up situation at some god awful hour in the morning (which I will happily do whenever it is needed.) I'm also not going to yell at you or give you a hard time. Again. Here to help.  Asking for help is not weakness. It's smart and shows strength. "Adulting" AdviceWhat is your top "adulting" advice for others? Learn MoreThe Adventure of Career TransitionSince the beginning of forever, I have worked in the field of learning and development in a corporate environment. I have also learned that two of the most at-risk fields for layoffs are marketing and training. In total, I have been laid off 6 times due to economic downturns, companies being bought or sold, or good old fashion reorganizations. While each period of unplanned job transition is rough in it's own way, here are three core truths that help me weather the storm as I search for a new work home. Truth 1: Working time passes more quickly than non-working time.When you're a hiring manager, you have a ton going on, and only one of those things is hiring a new person. You're still trying to manage your team, meet deadlines, troubleshoot customer problems, and juggle all of the people you're considering for your open position. In an interview, when one candidate asks about the hiring process, you tell them you should know who will move on to the next steps in the process "by the end of this week"--and at the time, you believe that is a reasonable deadline. Then there is a software release with a bug that causes three meetings to be scheduled with big clients, or someone quits suddenly leaving a lot of arrangements to be made, or your child has to be picked up from daycare with stomach flu. Friday comes and goes and getting in touch with a candidate falls off your radar until the next week. Meanwhile, as a job seeker, you put a note on your calendar that you'll know one way or another by Friday. Then you analyze every syllable you uttered in the Zoom interview hoping that you didn't say anything awful. You rethink a facial expression that you interpreted as approving and wonder if it really was that at all. You suffer through Saturday, Sunday, and Monday secretly worrying that you will never work again. Ever. Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your job of being happily, gainfully employed. After the interview, send a thank you email to the hiring manager and send them a personalized connection request on LinkedIn. Put a note on your calendar for a few days after the hiring manager said they would get in touch with you. Reach out to them at that time including a few pleasantries, reiterating your interest in the role, and asking for an update. Will you get the job? Who knows. You did your part, identified what you can work on, and will continue to learn and grow as you go through the process for more roles. In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.  Like sands through the slowest hourglass ever, so is the perceived time a job seeker waits for a response from a possible employer. Truth 2: Don't fall in love with a job opening.Inevitably as a job searcher, you run across it. THE job. It's the one you know is meant to be yours. It's perfect--easy commute, a great title, the go-to company, exactly what you are qualified (and want) to do. In your head you know it--this is MY job. You picture your new business cards, where you'll park, and how you'll introduct yourself as the "Director of Awesomeness" for this perfect company. You think--why should I even bother applying for anything else because this is SO my job! Except, well, it's not actually your job yet. You're looking at it and see yourself in it, but it's not real. You don't work there. No one is sending you a paycheck for it. They don't even know your name yet. This MAY be the job you eventually get, but nothing is done yet. You know what else? It may not end up being your job. You need to remind yourself that it's not a done deal. Apply for that job--even work hard to get it. Know, though, that you may end up not even getting called in for an interview. This doesn't mean you're not still awesome. There's just a lot going on. There may be an internal candidate, or a previous coworker of the hiring manager, or someone who has a referral from a college friend, or someone who has even slightly more of a qualification that didn't make that job posting. Instead of spiraling, take action to get you closer to your job of being happily, gainfully employed. Any time you find yourself falling in love with a job, or thinking of something as "your job", make an extra effort to go apply for additional jobs. If the job you see yourself in works out, great. If not, you're still working towards your ultimate goal of finding a new role (complete with a paycheck) whichever one that might be. In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.  It may seem like "your job", but in reality it is just one job that MAY be the right job for you. Truth 3: You only need one job.Applying for jobs is a process. Looking back at my records, I have typically applied for between 40 and 100 jobs when I've been in career transition. It's easy to get discouraged. Sometimes you apply and hear back a fat lot of nothing. Personally, sometimes my stomach sinks when I see a job that I've applied for (and was quickly rejected) and it's reposted and realizing that they will hire "not me" for that role. It's hard when the job where you interviewed a ton of times tells you they really liked you, but went with an internal candidate. It's rough to hear that you were great, but that you came in second. There is so much rejection in the job search process, that it's inevitable that you'll feel down, and like a loser, and like there is no hope. At the end of the day, though, you only need one job. You need one organization to tell you "yes". You need one place where you and the employer agree that you'll work together. When I remind myself that I only need a success rate of 1 in 50 to be happily, gainfully employed, it makes it all seem more manageable. All those no answers get you to the one yes you need. The trick is that you don't know which one will be that yes. In addition, network with three more people and apply for three more jobs.  You only need one job. What do you think?What job search words of wisdom resonate with you the most? Include your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreA Comment About Racial InjusticeThe Twin Cities area has a history of involvement in officer-involved incidents where people of color were victims including Jamar Clark, Philando Castille, George Floyd, and Daunte Wright. Each of these incidents were tragic and indicate a system that is riddled with issues that desperately need to be addressed. I want to acknowledge these people, and others who have fallen victim. The focus of this blog entry is on how to navigate the civil unrest (including the looting and rioting) that often takes place after the peaceful protests have ended in a given day. Please note that my focus on information gathering during civil unrest is in no way intended to diminish these incidents or downplay their significance.  The Civil Unrest Following Peaceful ProtestsAround Memorial Day of 2020, after the death of George Floyd while he was in police custody, my family and I lived 2 miles from the 3rd Precinct--the site of much of the civil unrest. During that time, we learned that information gathering was key in making decisions about the safety of our family. This includes staying out of the middle of a potentially violent crowd, being hit by stray bullets, or being in a place where you're in or near a building that is burning down. Part of my goal is determining when we need to leave the area to make sure that I help keep my family alive and well in the wake of civil unrest following a huge tragedy. We also realized that we had to work a little harder to get useful information. Now, with the Chauvin verdict looming and concerns about unrest and looting following the death of Daunte Wright, it's a good time to review key ways to gather information when you find yourself in a place that is in a state of turmoil where civil unrest is likely.  Unicorn RiotUnicorn Riot is an independently run non-profit media organization consisting of artists and journalists. They live stream footage from events while they are happening on YouTube and have additional footage on their website. To see first-hand what is happening at protests, or see an event that started as a protest transform into a riot, we watched Unicorn Riot to see occurrences in real time. It's interesting to see what tactical approach law enforcement is taking as well as the tone of the group. You'll also hear unfiltered audio and commentary by participants and genuine reactions to what is happening. Since coverage on the local news is limited, and may be repetitive, it's helpful to see in-the-moment updates from people who are in the middle of what is happening. Citizen AppThe Citizen app is a helpful tool for keeping track of your location and how close specific activities are. Citizen pops up notices and the location of each activity as it relates to your location. Sometimes, updates and video footage are also included. This is a way to track where things are happening and if specific threats are moving closer to or further away from you. Events like gunshots, carjackings, fires, break ins, or police activity are reported by individuals and include a mile estimate for how close that activity is to you. Events are also updated as more information develops. Citizen also includes more official notices, like curfews on a given night or protests in progress, to help make more informed decisions about whether to stay or go, and what route to use to leave town as needed. Ring Video Doorbell and Ring NetworkThe Ring Video Doorbell has a few benefits. For one, you have a recording of any activity outside of the location of your Ring Doorbell using the camera. You can also access a live view to see what is happening in real time. In addition, the members of your Ring network (typically, your neighbors who also have Ring Doorbells) can report incidents based on police reports, recordings from their camera, or their personal observations. Since some issues are self reported, accuracy and usefulness of information may vary. It is a helpful source of information from neighbors and includes details that may not be significant enough to report to the police, but that can influence preparations. Police Scanner Radio & Fire AppWe also used a scanner app to find out about possible issues as they were occurring. We used Police Scanner & Fire App to keep on top of calls made regarding possible crimes in progress and fires. During the Floyd Riots, arson was a huge issue. Since we live in a mixed use neighborhood, and rioters were burning down unoccupied apartments buildings and retail stores, we were keeping an eye on fires and their proximity to our home. We knew that firetrucks were not always able to get to all calls, and we also know that fire can also potentially hop from one building to another. Our goal was to stay ahead of possible fire so we could leave the area before we were in personal danger. What Do You Think?How do you gather information during a crisis? Share your thoughts in the comments.  Learn MoreDeath by LectureAs humans in today’s fast-paced world, we often value getting the job done as quickly as possible. When it comes to helping people learn, lecturing’s, aka “just tell them everything they need to know,” becomes the unfortunate default mode of information delivery. Unfortunately, the process of knowledge transfer doesn’t work like a bank deposit, and we can’t just extract knowledge from one person and implant it in another. Instead, individuals need to engage with information so they understand what to do with those details and make them into their own, internalized knowledge. Grandpa, Tell Me a StoryYou know who loves stories? Little kids. Do you know why? They are trying to figure out what the world is all about and what to do with all of the things they are experiencing for the first time. Just like adults use stories to help children understand the world, stories help adults make the transition from bland best practice or potentially useful technique to thing-I-actually-do. Let’s look at three examples of how stories can be incorporated into training to engage people in the learning process and help adults actually learn.  Stories help us make sense of the world. Reason 1: Stories Help Concepts Become RealIn training, many times we’re covering abstract ideas, and sharing models for how to apply those ideas. Stories help us make that jump. Here's an example: Concept:During a training with customer service professionals, we're trying to help them understand the importance of getting to know individual customers and catering to their unique needs. Basic explanation:"Each customer is different. Every person who calls us on the phone has their own point of view and personal struggles that we may know nothing about. We need to find out what matters to them and emphasize those points as we speak to them. Overall, be careful about making assumptions about people’s wants and needs based on your personal preferences." Story to make the idea real:"Here’s an example of learning about our customers and tailoring our approach to their wants and needs. While working at a table at a church conference, my job was to discuss health insurance benefits with pastors currently working in congregations. I was there to promote a great new benefit where pastors could earn $250 for completing an online health assessment quiz. For me, taking the health assessment was a no-brainer, because I thought, “Yay! Free money!” I quickly learned, though, that this was not the prevailing opinion among the pastors. Several stopped to express outrage that the church was trying to BRIBE them to take the health assessment. Since many of the pastors prided themselves on being more concerned with doing good in the world than with money, having a financial reward for doing something that they should do anyway became a disincentive. One church leader realized that a different approach was needed. She used the concept of stewardship—which means taking care of the gifts God has given to you, including your money and your own personal health. She told pastors that it was their duty as leaders of the church to model good stewardship by taking the health assessment (especially since another benefit was helping their congregation to earn a discount on their health insurance premiums). By keeping the wants and needs of the audience in mind, and realizing that they may be very different from our own, we figured out how to position this benefit in a way that resonated with our audience. " How the story helps:This story takes an abstract concept (everyone is different) and drives it home. Since many people may identify with the person who would gladly take the health assessment to earn money, seeing a completely different, and often unexpected, viewpoint can be shocking. Adding details about people and context for why they have the values they do, can be eye-opening.  One person thinks "Yay--free money," while another person thinks "How dare you bribe me!" Reason 2: Stories Help People Learn from Other People's ExperiencesWhen you first learn a concept, it may sound good in the abstract, but you're not sure how to apply that idea in the real world. In professions like being a police officer or a fire fighter, stories are a way that seasoned staff help rookies learn from other people's experiences. Here's an example of how to use stories to share real-world examples. Concept:With new corporate trainers, using proximity technique to deal with disruptive students in a classroom environment. Basic explanation:"When trying to manage students who are disrupting the classroom, using proximity can be helpful. In short, standing near a student can help them to realize that they need to change their behavior." Story to share one person’s experience using the technique:"During student introductions at the beginning of a sales training class, Alice, a branch manager sitting at a table in the back of the room, was explaining what she hoped to gain from class. In the middle of Alice’s introduction, Jim (the top insurance salesperson in the region) answered his phone. He was sitting at the front table in the classroom, and there was no way for the whole class NOT to hear his conversation as he loudly explained the concept of accident forgiveness. I asked Alice to pause for a moment, then walked over to Jim, and stood next to him for a moment. He looked at me, I smiled at him, and then he put his hand over his phone long enough to say, “I’ll step outside to finish this call.” I nodded to let him know that I appreciate it. Once he left, Alice finished up, and the next person did their introduction. In this case, standing next to Jim was the cue he needed to realize that he was doing something disruptive and self-correct his behavior." How the story helped:The story involves people with names and characteristics. This shows on sometimes challenging student, a high performing salesperson, and a situation that may resonate with students. It also shows how using a relatively simple solution can solve the problem, and help the trainer maintain control of their classroom. This story shows students how they can apply the skill, which may also help them identify when they could use a specific skill in their classroom.  Sharing stories helps people understand how to apply new skills by learning from one another's experiences. Reason 3: To Give Context for Technical TrainingWhen I’ve observed technical trainers, most of them are great at taking people through the step by step process needed to make something work. However, many times the question “why would we ever do this?” is missed. If people don’t get why the process matters, they will have a hard time mustering up enough energy to pay attention. Here's an example of how to use a story to set up a scenario within a technical training course. Concept:Showing students in an intermediate Microsoft Word class how to use the mail merge feature to create mailing labels. Basic explanation:"We’re going to create mailing labels. This would be helpful if you needed to mail the same item, like a marketing campaign, to multiple people. You could even use a mailing list that you had saved in Excel as the starting point for your mailing labels." Story to illustrate why you'd complete this process: "Joanie and Chachi are getting married and having the big wedding of Joannie’s dreams. Now that it’s time to address invitations, her best friend, Jenny Piccalo, points out that addressing 500 envelopes by hand is going to be excruciating. Joannie has a great idea! Why not use the Excel file they’ve created and use the Mail Merge feature in Word to create mailing labels! They can even use one of those handwriting style fonts to help them match the script on the invitations. Let’s look at how to set that up."  Why use a mail merge? How about to make addressing all of those wedding invitations easier! How the story helped:Especially in technical training, sometimes we get so caught up in the “click here, click there, GOOD LORD NOT THERE” aspect of it that we forget to tell students why they’d ever bother to do the process we’re explaining. Giving them a why, in this case a why that aligns with concepts people know (the joys of managing the postal aspects of a big event) and incorporating fictional characters (who doesn’t love a little Happy Days reference?) adds a layer of lightheartedness that is often missing from technical training. What Do You Think?Why do you think telling stories in training is beneficial? What is your favorite story to tell? How does it enhance the learning process? Include your thoughts in the comments. Learn MoreNo one wants to be a victim. People talk a lot about self defense--which I usually think of as the ability to defend yourself against an attacker. Ideally, though, we can learn how to prevent many of those situations from becoming physical altercations. I think it is important to be able to defend yourself. Most self-defense training, though, focuses on the point where you're being attacked, not on ways to prevent an attack from ever taking place. Here, I'm focusing on putting yourself in a position where you can avoid an incident (like being assaulted, robbed or raped) altogether. As someone who lives in a large city, currently with an increase in crime, and doesn't want to live afraid, I focus on these three concepts for staying out of harm's way: situational awareness, being an imperfect victim and listening to my intuition. Have Situational AwarenessSituational awareness is a fancy way of saying "pay attention." I'm amazed by the people I see on a regular basis, who seem completely disconnected from the world around them. For many, there seems to be the prevalent attitude that bad things simply will not happen to them regardless of what they do. Being actively disconnected from what is going on around you make you more likely to be assaulted or a victim of theft. Here's what a lack of situational awareness looks like:
Here's what situational awareness looks like:
Overall, situational awareness is making a little effort to notice your physical environment so that you are in tune with it, instead of constantly surprised by it.  Put down your phone and pay attention to the world! Be an Imperfect VictimAgain, no one wants to be a victim, but many of us do things that make us more likely to be one. Since typically people who are going to rob or rape others are looking for easy targets, being perceived as difficult is a great way to avoid an incident. Here's what imperfect victims look like:
Imperfect victims also remember their boundaries. Too often, especially as women, we try to accommodate other people's requests because we want to be liked. Remember, though, you don't have to be nice to random people who approach you and demand things from you. You do not have to shake someone's hand, hug someone, or tolerate someone in your personal space. You do not have to give anything to an aggressive panhandler. Tell people no, and do it loudly if required. Put your hands up between you and them when you say "no" to let them know they really do need to stop. You may even need to yell "Get away from me" loudly to make it clear that they need to give you space. People who speak up are perceived as being more trouble than they are worth.  Put your hands between you and the threatening person. Listen to your IntuitionYou know how sometimes dogs don't like certain people? Or how babies cry and do not want to be held by just anyone? Their intuition is what makes them want to avoid some people. Unlike small children or animals, as adults, we tend to ignore our intuition. This is out of a sense of politeness or fear of being accused of being one of the bad -ists (racist, sexist, elitist). We need to re-learn to listen to our intuition for the sake of our well-being and trust that. This is not about political correctness or offending someone we don't even know. This is about our personal safety in what could be a dangerous situation. Here are those feelings you need to honor:
Those weird feelings that you can't quite put into words? Listen to them. Remember, sometimes, our bodies figure thing out before our brains catch up. We need to learn to pay attention to our surroundings with our heads, and our bodies, and heed that warning. It will help keep us safe.  Listen to your gut. You dont' have to buddy up to the creepy person. In fact, get away from them. What Do You Think?What safety tips do you have? How do you keep yourself out of harm's way? Learn More
Do Your Future Self a SolidGoing to work expecting to finish up a report and lead a meeting and having your workday end abruptly at 10:00 AM walking to your car with a box containing all of your workly positions, is jarring. What's even more jarring is the realization that now--SURPRISE--you have to find a new job so that you can continue your extravagant lifestyle of living indoors and eating on a regular basis. For the whole of my professional career, I have worked in the field of corporate education in positions like software trainer, training specialist, sales training manager and instructional designer. Like many of my colleagues, I've also been laid off three times in my 20+ year career. (I know people who have me beat by at least a couple of times.) While fixating on the fear of losing your job is a horrible way to exist, there are a few things that you can do now--while you're happily, gainfully employed--that can help lessen the blow if you do happen to find yourself suddenly in need of a new position. Build Your Professional NetworkIf you read any articles about effective ways to find a new position, leveraging your professional network is a key piece of advice. It's also harder to start networking when you have your proverbial hat in your hand and need something. It's better to start building your professional network before you need something. Your network is also much more than a job search resource. LinkedIn is a great tool to help you build and connect with others. In the beforetimes (pre-pandemic), I would connect with people on LinkedIn after we had met in person. Now, I proactively connect with industry leaders, people I encounter at professional development meetings I attend via Zoom, or I ask to connect with people who share common interests with me. I also interact with people on LinkedIn. I post content that highlights my industry knowledge, comment on people's posts, and share posts that resonate with me. Being a good "LinkedIn neighgbor", and building your network before you need to use it for a job search, is a great way to position yourself or future success.  Connect with people and build your professional network before you need it. Update Your Resume In Real TimeI was once laid off from a job where I had been for eitght years. When my position was eliminated due to corporate restructuring, putting my resume together again was a challenge since I had years of diverse work experience to document. At that time, I knew details about recent projects, but it was harder for me to piece together all that I had done, and salient details that would help me get hired elsewhere. Fortunately, and in rather unusual fashion, I was given a couple of months of notice that my job would be ending. That gave me the time to review my calendar, and files, to put together detailed descriptions of what I had done. This helped me put together a master resume. This isn't the final resume that you use to apply for a position. This is the big huge ridiculous document that contains everything you've done ever. From here, you pick and choose details that you'll include in your for real applying-for-a-job resume. In general, I've become more proactive about recording what I do. While these projects are fresh in my mind, I write down specifics on what I did, who I worked with, outcomes and tangible results. This helps me not only for a someday job search, but it also helps me position myself for additional projects and roles at my current workplace as the company grows and evolves. Keeping a detailed list of projects, responsibilities and skills you were able to use will make resume writing much easier when the time comes.  Update your resume--especially the "more stuff that makes me qualified" category. Learn New SkillsOnce upon a time, I was planning on being a high school English teacher. While my current career path focuses on education, suffice it to say that I ended up in a very different place than I originally envisioned. With each role that I have had, my skill set has grown immensely. When I look at how the world has changed since earned my undergraduate degree, it's amazing. One of my first training jobs was as a software instructor teaching people how to use the big scary Internet. My first few job searches were done relying predominantly on the want ads in the Sunday newspaper. At one company, we were on the bleeding edge of technology by using instructor-led web based training before training by webinar was standard. With advances in technology, the workforce, and worldwide economic factors, things are always changing, and to stay employeable, you need to keep up. Don't wait until your job's future seems uncertain to start learning. Go to professional meetings. Read website dedicated to your field. Listen to podcasts on topics of interest. Look at job descriptions for emerging positions to see what kinds of skills are in demand. Keep updating your skills so you're not left behind when change happens around you. Be Amazon, not Nokia.  Learn all the things! What Do You Think?What other career advice do you have to share? Learn MoreManaging Job AnxietyRecently, I was at a professional development event learning about the finer points of corporate training. During networking time, I talked with a woman who had been previously laid off, then called back to work for the same company (which is rare for my chosen field). What was her biggest concern? In short, she was trying to figure out how to be happy in her new/old position and not constantly worry about the possibility of getting laid off again.  Instead of idly worrying, start to address the cause of your concerns. To Worry, or Not to Worry?Here in the land of having been laid off from various and sundry positions 5 times over the course of my career, I know from being worried about job loss. Granted, the first time I was laid off, an involuntary job loss was outside of my realm of possibility since it had never personally happened to me. After that, though, once I knew it was a thing, there are many times I’ve worried about being laid off. Maybe it was concerns about market performance, or new management, or rumors about reorganization, or any number of other things that caused my anxiety to kick in. On the flip side, the times I have been laid off, I have just plain not seen it coming. I’ve been busy dealing with my personal life otherwise falling apart, or too busy working on a must-succeed project, or coming back from vacation to realize that apparently, I was not long for those companies. While I do worry from time to time, instead, I now focus on how to proactively position myself for longer-term career success instead. An Alternative to WorryWay back when, I had two operating modes when it came to work: “I’m happy with my job” mode and “I need to find a new job” mode. “I’m happy with my job” mode included excelling at my day-job with a side order of inactivity. “I need to find a new job right this minute” mode is when I started to network, look for career opportunities, dust off my resume, highlight my skills, etc. Now I realize that I needed to change from those two to an all new “working professional” mode—which is a both/and way of being. As a working professional, I still excel in my current role, but I also remember to keep my skill set up to date, continue to make ongoing professional connections, and have a career plan B (and up through about J, honestly) just in case I need it. Regardless of my employment status, this mindset serves me well and helps me live my life without focusing on fear.  Learn all the things! Learning and GrowingOnce upon a time, I planned to be a high school English teacher. While I didn’t end up teaching in a school setting, I use that skill set to help adults who work for businesses learn the knowledge, skills, and abilities that enable them to excel professionally and personally. I’m a lifelong learner, and I literally learn for a living—and help others do the same. I’m always learning new technology, reading up adult education theory, and gaining insights from those around me. In addition to having a formal background in education, I also attend regular professional development meetings, and I constantly read in and outside of my field. I make sure I can speak intelligently about trends in business, education, and beyond. Staying current and continuing to learn and grow keeps me doing well in my current position and future ready. In an ever-changing world, continued professional growth is the best way to manage whatever happens next.  Ah, the good old days of meeting people, even slightly blurry people, in person. Now, I meet most people through Zoom or directly through LinkedIn. Same idea, though. Building (and Tending) My Professional Network People talk a lot about “networking.” Too often, I think networking is depicted as a superficial act that involves shaking a lot of hands at a nametag laden event where people dread the next day’s “would you like to buy something from me” calls. For me, as an introvert, I approach networking differently. My goal is to build mutually beneficial relationships with people. These relationships are an opportunity to share information, help one another out, and feel more connected. I keep track of my network using LinkedIn. In the beforetimes (aka pre-pandemic), I would typically meet people in person first, then connect with them via LinkedIn. Now, after I interact with someone via webinar (at a professional development meeting or after we work together for the firs time), I add them to my LinkedIn network. I've also taken a more proactive stance on online networking out of sheer necessity. Regardless of how that connection comes into my life, from there, I’m happy to help a friend of theirs look for a new job, or talk with one of my connections about how they might want design their technical certification program, or answer a question about a job applicant who is a former coworker of mine. I expect to help people in my professional network out, and know that they will be willing to do the same.  Your plan B needs a plan B. Contingency PlanningRegardless of the role that I’m in, and even if it seems to be going well, I always have a backup plan, and a backup-backup plan, and then a couple more backup plans after those. After 5 layoffs, and the unique challenges of each, I have a broad sense of the types of situations (like figuring out the health care exchange and determining when it made sense to do short-term contract work) I may need to mitigate. This means being ready to manage possible adversity or taking advantage of opportunities as they become available. In addition to being proactive with my network, some of the things I’ve thought through have made me better equipped for issues as they arise. Here are a few of the things I’ve contemplated:
What Do You Think?How do you manage career anxiety? Include your thoughts in the comments. Learn More |